Respect: Just a Little Bit…Can Go a Long, Long Way

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Have you ever felt so disrespected that you’ve walked away from a job? Or have you been the leader watching your employees resign in droves and you don’t understand why?

Let’s do a quick recap: The definition of active listening is just three words—improve mutual understanding. In our last post, we talked about authenticity and how many people are hiding their true identities from their employers. It’s a scary place to be…feeling ignored or treated unkindly after you put yourself out there, expressing your truth.

Today we want to take this a step further and talk about respect. When trust is broken and someone feels repeatedly disrespected, there’s little hope for improving mutual understanding.

In two recent articles about institutions that used to be lauded and are now desperate to find any staff who will come work there, former employees were so exasperated that they disclosed their fears of being fired for bringing up any issues. Some felt pressure to come to work ill; others had no time to eat during 14-hour shifts and their health began to suffer. Beyond (and because of) tough working conditions, there were major points of tension around low pay and the pay disparity between executive and lower staff.

One example comes from a very high-end restaurant, while the other a prestigious wildlife advocacy nonprofit. And yet, it is abundantly clear that the frontline workers in both organizations have been completely disrespected for quite some time now. Turnover rates are exceptionally high in these workplaces where it used to be nearly impossible to get a job. So what happened? How does this story seem to find its way into every work environment, regardless of the sector?

Both articles highlight rather extreme and dramatic workplace examples (although, very real situations worthy of attention), yet they’re a stark reminder of why we can all stand a little refresh on respect.

Challenge

  • Are you treating those you serve with respect by listening intently and acknowledging their input?

  • Have you ever felt disrespected in a relationship with a colleague or a manager? Did you choose to speak up or keep it to yourself?

  • Can you recall a time when you overheard a conversation where someone was being disrespected? How did you react?

Scenario

Carmen is the CEO of a healthcare nonprofit. Recently, she’s noticed that productivity and morale seem low. She thought she gave clear direction on what needs to be accomplished and specific deadlines, yet she doesn’t understand what’s going on with her staff. She has always believed that promoting 100% dedication to the mission would motivate them. In fact, she won’t hire anyone who refuses to commit their lives to mission-oriented service.

She decides to review a few timesheets—are people leaving early and slacking off? Is there too much vacation time getting approved? She’s shocked to discover it’s quite the opposite. (And BTW, if your organization is still using timesheets, that system in and of itself is worth assessing.)

Employees are logging 60 to even 80-hour weeks across multiple departments. Some staff members report working more than 16-hour days. So why isn’t the work getting done?

Carmen discusses this with her career coach, who suggests that her employees might be exhausted. It takes Carmen several weeks of mulling this over and observing her employees. Are we holding too many meetings? Is my team overworked and unproductive without time to recharge? Have they lost sight of our mission? Am I expecting too much?

She digs into some research about leadership styles and finds data from a recent national workplace survey. Workers have made clear that they need their leaders to move away from command-and-control leadership. Employees are feeling disrespected and are resigning from organizations where leaders are focused on telling them what to do and not listening.

Carmen experiences an a-ha moment and decides that she will work with her coach to develop an action plan. She knows that something needs to change, otherwise the Great Resignation will continue to creep into her organization. But she also knows that this kind of change doesn’t happen overnight. Carmen is invested in the process and ready to make substantive steps forward.

Solution

In this scenario, we witnessed the start of a journey for Carmen as she seeks to become a more self-aware leader. She initially felt disrespected by her employees—they weren’t getting enough work done in her estimation, so she jumped to the conclusion that they just weren’t trying hard enough and didn’t care about their mission. When Carmen came to the realization that the situation might be reversed and her employees might feel like she doesn’t respect their time or promote a work-life balance, Carmen had to decide what to do with this clarity.

Further, as this recent article illustrates, reorienting our Great Resignation mindset to the Great Exploration may be the key to stronger employee retention.

Carmen is taking the right steps forward. She’s spending time considering what’s really going on, she’s talking to other professionals whom she respects, and she’s investing her time in quality research to support her leadership growth. 

For someone like Carmen, a (soon-to-be) former command-and-control leader, this is her chance to employ relentless incrementalism (RI) to start seeing some positive results. What is RI? It’s a term made popular by nonprofit visionary Robert Egger in his TedX talk found here. In sum: “Some days, big strides. Some days, small. Badass movement all the time.”

Call to Action

This month, consider your leadership style. Are you a command-and-control leader? If your immediate answer is no, take a closer look at yourself. This might take time and feel like an uncomfortable and messy process of reflection.

Chances are that if you’re reading this, you’re already a self-aware leader or aspiring leader who is invested in personal growth. Take a moment to think about 3-4 other leaders who you admire, and with whom you can connect about respect and leadership styles.

After each conversation, consider the following:

  • What qualities make this person an empathetic leader?

  • How does this leader show respect to their employees?

  • What is one thing I can learn from this leader to incorporate into my own leadership style?

P.S. Is Carmen exhausted too? In a new survey of 2,100 C-suite execs across Australia, Canada, the UK and the U.S., nearly 70% are seriously considering quitting for a job that better supports their well-being.

The survey also revealed something not incredibly surprising yet important for leaders like Carmen to be aware of: executives are significantly overestimating how well their employees are doing and how supported they feel by their leaders. Yet another reason it’s good news that she’s working with her coach to make significant changes to her management approach!

And most important for YOU, this recent article highlighting the survey results provides helpful tools and insights for “health-savvy” C-suite executives and their staff seeking to achieve workplace well-being, which is another way of showing respect – to your staff, your peers, your boss, and yourself: bit.ly/3ODyqWd.

Interested in learning more about active listening? Check out HILT here: www.hazeninc.com/hazen-institute-for-leadership-training.